Rummaging Through My Mind

Today was the start of week four as an intern at BOA. I still absolutely love it. Minus the fact I woke up an hour and a half late today, I still am having a a pretty good day. It's going by fast because there is usually not a dull moment, minus right now.

After work, I am headed to Heather's (another intern) to work out. I am bound and determined to start eating healthy and working out again. I feel so much better when I do, about myself, people, and life in general. It's just hard to get that boost, I'm hoping I finally found it again.

This weekend Heather and I are headed to San Antonio for the weekend to see her friend who is interning there. Should be a fun road trip. She got a new camera so I'm pretty sure there will be LOTS of pictures posted on facebook Sunday evening.

I miss LD and Gabe so much. I'm scared to talk to them on the phone because I'll prolly break down crying. Boo.

Everything is going pretty good right now, nothing to complain about except for Winston biting my toes off in the middle of the night. Bastard.

I leave you with a picture from yesterday's adventure of finding a Wal-Mart...

Living, Laughing, Loving

I have so much on my mind that I have no idea where to start. I want to be in love with someone who is in love with me. I want shoulder to cry on. I want to have a job in Dallas after graduation. I want to be financially stable. I want to feel secure.

I am still in love with my internship and couldn't be happier with my current work situation. I just got back from happy hour which was fun. My face is kind sore from smiling and laughing so much. Lots of stories, funny people and cheap drinks.

Reality slapped me across the face today when I say my first pay stub and 30% of my first pay check was taken out...

There is so much going on up in my noggin that I can't think straight and I'm tired. So this is a short one.

Checkin' out.

Week Two as an Intern

This weekend was fun. Firday I went to the Londer with Noel and some of her friends. The food was alright but the socializing was fun. After Noel and I went to Zen bar with her new friend Josh. It was definately a change from College Station bars, a lot more classier, but a crap load of more pricks and sluts. For once Noel and I were the first 'good girls' in the crowd.

Saturday I woke up and headed to my Aunt's house. We ate at a new Mexican place close to downtown, pretty good but totally outta my price range. We went back to her place, relaxed for awhile then went shopping. :) I actually found a cute new top and two pairs of shoes, in size 11, and in my price range at Nordstroms. I was very happy. By the time we got back to her place it was eight so I headed home. Showered, watched tv then crashed.

Sunday I slept till who knows when. I went to the grocery store, that was probably the most productive thing I did all day. In the later afternoon I went and played volleyball with Noel and some other people. It was fun, but I suck after not playing for a long ass time.

Today is Monday and I don't have a case of the Mondays :) Although there are a lot of things going on in my life I would rather not deal with but have to. Everyday I come to work, the more I want to stay here after graduation. Sure it is three hours from home but I really think I could have amazing opprotuinites here and network during my internship to set myself up for corporate success. I know I was meant for big things or at least attempting them.

Lunch is almost over for me. Work nine hour days this week so I can have half of Friday off to spend with Grace.

Later gators.

Interning

I'm in love with my internship. Although its only been four days, it is exactly what I want to be doing when I graduate so the experience is amazing. I get to go to meetings, sit in on conference calls and actually do work pertaining to current projects that are going on. It is so cool to actually use what I have learned and what I was exposed to in school. Little stuff like knowing little terms, what things do what and processes. My bosses is a young guy, real cool and nice, and doesn't get irritated at all my questions. I couldn't have asked for a better placement.

I do however live in the ghetto and ride the bus with people in the ghetto. The first day I rode the bus I rode with a group of people on parole and two trannys. Oh well, the price I pay for being an intern.

Tonight I'm going to dinner with Noel and a group of people she knows then we are going out to have some fun! :)

Winston the Kitty Cat

Is sounds asleep on my bed here in Dallas, passed the f out.

I have most everything put into place here at the apartment. Nervous as hell for tomorrow.

Law and Order

Is an amazing show in which I am completely addicted to. Today was an eventful day, I drove from Houston back to Willis for Little David's kindergarten graduation it was adorable. It is hard to think that little boy is already about to be in first grade. After that I headed to College Station to finish things up with the Nagle House and to order my ring :) It was in a way surreal sitting in the room ordering my ring, trying on ring sizes, and looking forward to September 19th! The Aggie Ring is definitely my favorite tradition. It symbolizes so much to me; completing 95 hours of my college career (most of which was at aTm), learning who I was a a person, meeting new friends, and growing even closer to my family.

My head is aching, I think its because of all the crap it can't stop thinking about. Damn.

Snickerdoodles

Are absolute delicious. Five more days and I will be in Dallas arranging my life for the the next couple of months. There is nothing much going on in my head right now, just the same old crap as yesterday.

To go to College Station tomorrow or not to go o.O? That is the question, I'll probably decided tomorrow when I wake up. Now it is movie time.

Falling

I spent an amazing weekend with a person I truly love. I couldn't have asked for a better time. The time we spent together will be etched in my memory forever.

Is it possible to fall head over heels for the same person twice? Or is that just your heart making the same mistakes again. I'm falling for him again. My heart is so confused, usually it knows what it wants but not this time. There are so many inflows of emotion and so many unknowns. I'm not sure what to do... Go for it: risking the same hurt and pain the guy has caused me in the past. Or say goodbye: not taking the risk of getting hurt again, finding someone who I can trust from the beginning and hope for someone to find me later in life. Both of these choices have no guarantees.

God I hope I will soon have something more positive to post.

Crazy

I'm sure if you survey the male population asking if they thought women were crazy, 99.9% would respond yes. And I am here to confirm their thoughts. We, women, are f-in crazy. We are crazy about life, love, and living. We put our hearts into everything which in the end results in our 'craziness'. We trust so easily and allow ourselves to fall head over heels for someone even if we have only known them for a week. We can go from laughing out loud to crying our eyes out because we took something the wrong way. Embrace the craziness, love the craziness because you know what guys? You can't get enough of it!

Wishing and Hoping and Praying

Wishing that I could have a girls night out, but it's impossible when one of your friends is half way across the world, another in Florida, and the other in her hometown. I'm really in need of some major girl action concerning drinking and comforting. It's amazing how fast my girlfriends can bring a smile to my face and know the right things to say to make me feel on top of the world again.

Hoping for great things in Dallas. Although it's only an internship and I'll only be there eleven weeks, it is still eleven weeks in a city I have hardly ever seen let alone lived in. My aunt is there along with her beautiful daughter who is an absolute doll. Noel is moving to North Dallas so I know she won't be too far away. I'm sure I'll meet new friends which I love meeting new people, it's just kind of scary meeting new people alone.

Praying to find motivation for life. Not only to be the best I can be in the working world but also my personal life. I need motivation to know it's okay not to be married within the next few years, to be comfortable with the fact that I might not meet 'the one' till God knows when, to allow myself be happy alone and with the people that are currently in my life that make up my family and friends.

If you reading this and think damn, cry me a freaking river, well f-you because you know what? This is called a 'blog' and I'm blogging. :) Toodles

Honesty

How are you supposed to know when the person you trying trust again is lying? Are you supposed to trust your intuition and follow what it is telling you? Are you supposed to try and trust again, just have it broken up into a million pieces again? Do I move on with my life to find a new beginning? These are the questions I am starting to struggle with on a daily basis.

Confuzzueldness

Sometimes I wish I could turn off that thing I call a brain. It makes me think about good and bad things, but there are times where it just focuses on the bad. I recently have started talking to a person from my past and well things are going well. The thing is I'm not really sure how well and where things will go from here. There is a big part of me that wants to move on with my life to avoid getting hurt but then there is the other part that wants to see where things go. I have a huge problem trusting guys which leads to problems in my relationships. There is lots of reasons why trust is such a big issue for me but thats really not the point.

I'm leaving for Dallas in a little less than three weeks and will be there for eleven. Maybe I should embrace the fact that I am going to place where I know no one and have huge opportunities in front of me. But hell, I'm scared. Maybe I am over thinking everything and should just go with the flow. Or maybe I'm crazy. Who knows.

Goodbyes

With the ending of the semester and the start of summer, everyone goes their separate ways. This time, saying my goodbyes wasn't easy.

If you would have asked me two years ago who were the closest people to me, Suzannah never would have come to mind. Going to the same school with each other since we were ten, I never imagined living with her for two years in college. We both have changed so much since our high school days, which I personally think is for the better. We have had our roommate moments of silence and also times of helping each other up the stairs after 'getting over AK' nights at North Gate.

With all the moments; good and bad, I've come to have a beautiful, amazing, caring, sweet, and loving best friend. We have gone through so much together, boys, friends, family, school, and ABC TV. I've learned to be more social and care free from her. She said she has learned to be more 'emotional'. Last night was perhaps a night I will always remember, Suz cried before I did. After five minutes of hugging and crying we parted our ways.

The crying wasn't only because I'm losing one of my best friends for eight months, but because I won't get to dunk my ring with her, she won't be there for my graduation, and I won't get to party my last semester away with her. Okay maybe I'm being a little selfish, she does have this once in a life time opportunity to go to Spain and France and get all 'cultured' or something like that, but damnit I just can't help it.

This past semester I have grown to love my Tuesday is the New Friday group. Great people with great hearts, who know how to party! Some graduated, some went to different states for the summer and a few remained close to home. I hope this group continues its rituals in the Fall even if it has to be on Aggie Football Saturdays. I sure am looking forward to being together with all of them again!

T-minus two and a half weeks and I will be starting my internship in Dallas. If A&M has taught me anything, it's that you can accomplish whatever you have your heart set on. For the past two years I have been interested in working with Bank of America and have always gone to their informationals on campus and what not, making sure I was 'seen'. Well I had a total of 20 interviews this past year, with a few on-sites, lots of rejections and one offer, with Bank of America. Two years ago, I wasn't in the business school, I didn't have a GPA anyone would want, and I wasn't involved in AITP. Two years later, I'm about to graduate with an INFO degree from the Mays School of Business, have a better GPA, and have the internship of my dreams.

I don't know what the future holds for me, but so far life is pretty good.