It's Monday and I'm in a total funk. Once again it is my fault. I didn't take my meds Saturday or Sunday and as a result I'm in a horrible mood. Okay, maybe not horrible but I don't even feel like communicating with anyone. Blah. F.
Anyways, on a plus note this weekend was pretty fun. I went out Friday evening and checked out A's place in Brooklyn. I'm envious of all the space she has. We were supposed to go dance at some place, but ended up just relaxing at her place and calling it an early night.
Saturday I made sure I set my alarm so I wouldn't sleep the whole day away again. I woke up at ten and took Teddy to the dog run for two hours. It was absolutely beautiful outside and there were tons of dogs. I relaxed most of the day and watched episodes of Brothers and Sisters and Private Practice. A and I went out again but headed to the UWS. We at this Chinese place where they serve FREE ENDLESS Franzia. Cheap white wine, but it was free and the food was decent. We then headed to the LES and went bar hopping. We really wanted to go to the karaoke place, but some douche wouldn't let us in. Jerk.
Sunday, I took Teddy to the park again and relaxed the day away. I really should have cleaned but didn't. Watched the Oscars and called it a night around 11.
I had the weirdest dream last night. I have such surreal dreams that sometimes its difficult for me to differ my dreams from reality, I'm not sure if its a good or bad thing. I remember the foundational plot of the dream, who was in it, and what I was doing but the details are beginning to fade the more the day goes on. You know, that could be another reason of why I am in such a weird mood. Who knows.
Not too much going on in my life right now. I really need to make it to some Aggie happy hours/watch parties. I've missed the past two just because I was too lazy to go.
Is it Friday yet?
3.05.2010
Chapter 34 - Gossip Girl
Due to the fact of a comment A made on my last blog, Gossip Girl... XOXO can't seem to leave my head. I love that show, although I haven't seen any new episodes since December. Tear.
I haven't begun to miss Texas yet. Honestly, it's kind of weird because I thought I would. I would be lying if I said I haven't had little bouts of depression (30 minutes here and there) in regards to realizing what I am going to miss out on in the next year because I can't afford to fly home every month. The next thing coming up that popped up in my head last night was that I won't be able to take pictures of the boys in bluebonnets this year. I have done this since LD was born. It really makes me sad. And now I have a really good camera and the pictures would come out awesome. Urgh. It's just something that I am going to have to get over.
I know I talk about the dog run all the time but it's an hour out of my day every day of the week. And it just so happens to be the most entertaining. Teddy has found himself a new BFF, Tank. He is this cute fluffy white dog who has this cute late-twenties owner, who just happens to have a GF. Lame. After, seeing each other for a week we still had not introduces ourselves, but last night we finally did. I will refer to him as P. For the hour we were there, I found out awesome places to go on the UES, now I just need people to go with. Ha. I also found out why a grown man has a cute little fluffy dog. He was in the 'dog house' with his GF and he got out of it by purchasing Tank and becoming his daily walker. I found this very amusing mostly because it happens all the time in relationships, but usually the guy comes home with flowers or something and not a living animal.
Work is going well so far but I still question myself on a daily basis. There is so much information I have to learn and I don't know how I am going to piece it all together. I need to be more confident but that will take time.
Now, I left the best for last. Yesterday, I saw my first street mouse as I was walking home. It was very tiny and didn't bother me much. Well, last night I was watching episodes online and all a sudden I see something moving out of the corner of my eye. I didn't think much of it until I realized Teddy was sound asleep on the bed next to me. I popped back up and to my surprise, there was ANOTHER little mouse but this time it was in MY apartment. My movement must have scared it because he ran under the crack of the bathroom door and never came back. (Or at least hadn't while I was awake.) Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I need Winston to come to NYC ASAP to eat them. It still gives me the heeby geebies thinking about it.
Tonight I am supposed to go to this underground dance hoorah with A. Should be interesting....
I haven't begun to miss Texas yet. Honestly, it's kind of weird because I thought I would. I would be lying if I said I haven't had little bouts of depression (30 minutes here and there) in regards to realizing what I am going to miss out on in the next year because I can't afford to fly home every month. The next thing coming up that popped up in my head last night was that I won't be able to take pictures of the boys in bluebonnets this year. I have done this since LD was born. It really makes me sad. And now I have a really good camera and the pictures would come out awesome. Urgh. It's just something that I am going to have to get over.
I know I talk about the dog run all the time but it's an hour out of my day every day of the week. And it just so happens to be the most entertaining. Teddy has found himself a new BFF, Tank. He is this cute fluffy white dog who has this cute late-twenties owner, who just happens to have a GF. Lame. After, seeing each other for a week we still had not introduces ourselves, but last night we finally did. I will refer to him as P. For the hour we were there, I found out awesome places to go on the UES, now I just need people to go with. Ha. I also found out why a grown man has a cute little fluffy dog. He was in the 'dog house' with his GF and he got out of it by purchasing Tank and becoming his daily walker. I found this very amusing mostly because it happens all the time in relationships, but usually the guy comes home with flowers or something and not a living animal.
Work is going well so far but I still question myself on a daily basis. There is so much information I have to learn and I don't know how I am going to piece it all together. I need to be more confident but that will take time.
Now, I left the best for last. Yesterday, I saw my first street mouse as I was walking home. It was very tiny and didn't bother me much. Well, last night I was watching episodes online and all a sudden I see something moving out of the corner of my eye. I didn't think much of it until I realized Teddy was sound asleep on the bed next to me. I popped back up and to my surprise, there was ANOTHER little mouse but this time it was in MY apartment. My movement must have scared it because he ran under the crack of the bathroom door and never came back. (Or at least hadn't while I was awake.) Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I need Winston to come to NYC ASAP to eat them. It still gives me the heeby geebies thinking about it.
Tonight I am supposed to go to this underground dance hoorah with A. Should be interesting....
2.28.2010
Chapter 33 - Dog Runs are Very Entertaining
I have literally slept this entire weekend away. Shame on me but maybe its exactly what I needed. J flew in on Friday evening and we went out in NoHo for the evening with A. It was pretty fun and entertaining to say the least. I didn't get to sleep till 4:30 in the morning on Saturday, something I haven't done in a VERY long time.
Saturday I did not wake up until 2:30 in the afternoon. I missed the Aggie watch party which I was very sad about, but there is always next weekend! After walking Teddy and running around the UES for an hour or so, J and I headed to the Gramercy area on the lower east side. We ate at this awesome little Italian place called, Frank's Trattoria. We got a 1/2 a pitcher of Sangria to start out with. Oh so good and it was only $15 and we each got about 3 glasses out of it. The food was so tasty as well. My Chicken Pargmigana hit the spot! After dinner we headed to Terminal 5 to see the 2nd Annual Texas Independence Day concert featuring: Pat Green, roger Creager, Reckless Kelly and my personal favorite the Eli Young Band. Oh it was so awesome, I almost forgot I was in NYC. There were a couple of songs that def made me a little teary eyed and reminded me of a few things, but I rather not get into that. I had so much fun but by the end of the night I was so tired and my feet were killing me. We called it an early night.
Today I woke up at 9 and went back to sleep till 11:30. Took Teddy out to the dog park and proceeded to come back and pass out. Justin was exploring the city doing who knows what and came back around 1:30 to pack up his things and head to the airport. Hopefully next time I am a better host. We said bye and the next thing I knew it was 7 at night and I missed going to church. Ugh!
It's not 11:30 and I should probably start heading to bed. Hopefully I can actually sleep and Teddy will cuddle tonight. NYC is great and I am so happy with my decision to move here! Nighty night.
<3 Chapa :)
Saturday I did not wake up until 2:30 in the afternoon. I missed the Aggie watch party which I was very sad about, but there is always next weekend! After walking Teddy and running around the UES for an hour or so, J and I headed to the Gramercy area on the lower east side. We ate at this awesome little Italian place called, Frank's Trattoria. We got a 1/2 a pitcher of Sangria to start out with. Oh so good and it was only $15 and we each got about 3 glasses out of it. The food was so tasty as well. My Chicken Pargmigana hit the spot! After dinner we headed to Terminal 5 to see the 2nd Annual Texas Independence Day concert featuring: Pat Green, roger Creager, Reckless Kelly and my personal favorite the Eli Young Band. Oh it was so awesome, I almost forgot I was in NYC. There were a couple of songs that def made me a little teary eyed and reminded me of a few things, but I rather not get into that. I had so much fun but by the end of the night I was so tired and my feet were killing me. We called it an early night.
Today I woke up at 9 and went back to sleep till 11:30. Took Teddy out to the dog park and proceeded to come back and pass out. Justin was exploring the city doing who knows what and came back around 1:30 to pack up his things and head to the airport. Hopefully next time I am a better host. We said bye and the next thing I knew it was 7 at night and I missed going to church. Ugh!
It's not 11:30 and I should probably start heading to bed. Hopefully I can actually sleep and Teddy will cuddle tonight. NYC is great and I am so happy with my decision to move here! Nighty night.
<3 Chapa :)
2.23.2010
Chapter 32 - Surreal Feelings
I've now been here for a week and a half. It usually doesn't hit me until the end of the day when I am walking home that I am living in this city. As I walk passed 3rd Avenue all the feelings rush through me again.
I love it so far. Although I can't get anywhere unless I dedicate 30-45 minutes of walking and the subway, its not that big of a deal.
I can't get enough of the park where Teddy's dog run is. It makes me laugh the entire time. There is almost always another dog his size/age and they are endless bundles of energy! They tackle, nip, slide, collide and run nonstop. I have to take pictures.
Today is my second day of my new rotation. Information overload is all I have to say.
This past weekend was fun. I went to an Aggie watch party for the basketball game and met some really nice NYC Aggies. Went to dinner with a few of them, then went back home to take Teddy out to potty. I didn't do much on Sunday except watch Greek (I'm almost through all the episodes.), went to church and then ended the evening by grocery shopping.
J flies in on Thursday evening and Saturday we are going to go to the NYC Texas Independence Day concert with Pat Green, Reckless Kelly, Eli Young Band, and Roger Creager! Hell yes!
Gotta get to work. Later.
I love it so far. Although I can't get anywhere unless I dedicate 30-45 minutes of walking and the subway, its not that big of a deal.
I can't get enough of the park where Teddy's dog run is. It makes me laugh the entire time. There is almost always another dog his size/age and they are endless bundles of energy! They tackle, nip, slide, collide and run nonstop. I have to take pictures.
Today is my second day of my new rotation. Information overload is all I have to say.
This past weekend was fun. I went to an Aggie watch party for the basketball game and met some really nice NYC Aggies. Went to dinner with a few of them, then went back home to take Teddy out to potty. I didn't do much on Sunday except watch Greek (I'm almost through all the episodes.), went to church and then ended the evening by grocery shopping.
J flies in on Thursday evening and Saturday we are going to go to the NYC Texas Independence Day concert with Pat Green, Reckless Kelly, Eli Young Band, and Roger Creager! Hell yes!
Gotta get to work. Later.
2.17.2010
Chapter 31 - Ash Wednesday
For the past four years I have rarely attended church or practiced the Catholic faith. Overall, its been because of pure laziness and a part of "Do I truly believe everything Catholisism entails?". The answer is plain and simple, no. But I also have to ask myself, "If I broke down every religion that is practiced around the world, would another one be a better fit?". Probably not.
Since I graduated high school my mother has constantly told me to go to church. Personally, she was right. I should have gone but I firmly believe no matter how much someone is pushed to attend, they are not going to until they themselves are ready.
This brings me to where I am today. Back in Texas, (I say that as if I have been here for months.) I knew something was missing from my life. I continue to feel that way now. Of course a male companion would fill a large portion, but if I am truly honest with myself I know that what I've been missing is my faith.
Today's Ash Wednesday and what better way to get back into the groove of things than Lent. I went and recieved ashes with my boss during lunch at a church a few block from work. It didn't make me feel any more holy than before, but I think its a start.
Granted I'm not perfect and don't ever plan to be. I am not going to make any promises to myself or God to throw myself back into my faith. I am going to start by giving up fried food and soda for Lent as well as attending church on a regular basis. And to make it even easier, there is a church a block from my apartment. We'll see how it goes.
Now on to my daily adventures. After work yesterday I went to Bed Bath and Beyond and bought a lovely cooking pan, curtrains, tension rods, and lots more. The best part, they delivered everything for $15. Plus I had a 20% off your entire purchase coupon. Hell yes!
On the way home the sidewalks were very slippery and I was trying my best to be careful. However, I still ended up busting my ass by landing on my knee and doing a half split. I felt like a compelte idiot. It must have been my intiation to the big city.
I arrived at my lovely apartment where Teddy was waiting patiently and we headed out to his potty break. I decided to relax and watch episodes of Greek while I waited for my Fresh Direct and BBB deliveries. By the end of the night, I had made a tasty dinner and put up my new curtains.
More to come another day.
Since I graduated high school my mother has constantly told me to go to church. Personally, she was right. I should have gone but I firmly believe no matter how much someone is pushed to attend, they are not going to until they themselves are ready.
This brings me to where I am today. Back in Texas, (I say that as if I have been here for months.) I knew something was missing from my life. I continue to feel that way now. Of course a male companion would fill a large portion, but if I am truly honest with myself I know that what I've been missing is my faith.
Today's Ash Wednesday and what better way to get back into the groove of things than Lent. I went and recieved ashes with my boss during lunch at a church a few block from work. It didn't make me feel any more holy than before, but I think its a start.
Granted I'm not perfect and don't ever plan to be. I am not going to make any promises to myself or God to throw myself back into my faith. I am going to start by giving up fried food and soda for Lent as well as attending church on a regular basis. And to make it even easier, there is a church a block from my apartment. We'll see how it goes.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now on to my daily adventures. After work yesterday I went to Bed Bath and Beyond and bought a lovely cooking pan, curtrains, tension rods, and lots more. The best part, they delivered everything for $15. Plus I had a 20% off your entire purchase coupon. Hell yes!
On the way home the sidewalks were very slippery and I was trying my best to be careful. However, I still ended up busting my ass by landing on my knee and doing a half split. I felt like a compelte idiot. It must have been my intiation to the big city.
I arrived at my lovely apartment where Teddy was waiting patiently and we headed out to his potty break. I decided to relax and watch episodes of Greek while I waited for my Fresh Direct and BBB deliveries. By the end of the night, I had made a tasty dinner and put up my new curtains.
More to come another day.
2.16.2010
Chapter 30 - Getting Settled In
It's day four of living in New York City. So far, so good. Below you'll read about the past few days getting situated here.
Day 1:
4:15AM - My parents and I woke up to pack the truck up with everything they were taking back.
6:30AM - Off to drop off the rental car that I forgot to turn in the night before. Oops.
6:35AM - Off to the airport.
6:50AM - After finally figuring out what line I needed to stand in, I awaited to be helped to pay for Teddy to fly. My mom was kind enough to help me carry my bags and push them along the line. Somehow, I packed both of my bags perfectly and they were each a pound under 50. Didn't have to pay anything for baggage. Hell yes!
7:30AM - Headed towards the security check point. Said goodbye to my wonderful parents. And guess what? I didn't cry like I thought I would. I just put my mind off elsewhere.
8:30AM - Boarded the plane for take off. Stopped in San Antonio(Which is ridiculous because I just went ass-backwards in order to get to my destination but hey that’s the price for getting a deal for a cheap flight.), then Baltimore, then I finally arrived at LaGuardia.
4:15PM - I decided against a cab and got a private car, which ended up being way cheaper than I thought and I wasn't rushed at all. Except some jerk almost ran Teddy over in the process. Luckily the driver pushed him out of the way. Stupid jerk that couldn’t wait for me to get in the car. Ugh.
4:45PM - Arrival to the new apartment. Picked up the keys from the deli under my place. Then hauled my bags and Teddy up one flight of stairs, already loving the benefits of living on the second floor.
5:00PM - Walked to Carl Shurz Park to let Teddy play in the dog run. He absolutely loved it.
6:00PM - Headed to S's to get the air mattress. Then went to the pet store to get a few treats and a bowl for Tedster.
7:30PM - Went to Duane Reade to get essentials. Another $40 out of my pocket.
8:00PM - Got a quick dinner from the deli along with some yummy fruit.
Some time after that I took a shower and headed to bed.
Day 2:
9:30AM - Woke up and took Teddy to the dog park. There were a lot of small dogs so we could to socialize and meet some regulars. He loved it once again and you know what, I did too!
11AM - A arrived and we headed to IKEA via taxi and water taxi (free per IKEA). Shopped, shopped, and shopped.
4:30PM - Got some food and headed home.
7PM - The furniture arrived. Started to put it all together and finished with: two coffee tables, desk, and my new futon.
Day 3:
No need to break down the time. Woke up and took the Tedster to the park again. Saw a cute British dude, he has a Husky that kept playing with Teddy. Pretty entertaining. Headed back and made a pit stop at Duane Reade again to get cleaning supplies.
Went back to the apartment and decided to put together the large 25 cubbie shelf. Meanwhile listening to episodes of Greek. Two hours later I finished but couldn't lift it so I decided it was nap time. My nap was wonderful by the way.
I decided to clean my bathroom which was absolutely disgusting. I can't even put it into words. I just sucked it up and cleaned it. It still looks like it hasn't been cleaned. Ew.
After putting together the shelf and having very little room to moving in my apt, I thought, "F it, I'll start on the last piece. My chest of drawers." Pretty easy to put together. A arrived again and it took us a good 30 minutes to figure out how to lift the damn shelving unit. After that huge ordeal, we rearranged things multiple times to figure out the best fit for my new place. Beer ended the night and I finally relaxed.
I seriously could not have done any of this with out the help of A. She helped me at IKEA and she help me set up my place. I don't think she really understands how much she helped me. Thank you, A!
Day 4:
I woke up this morning to my entire body aching. Took Ted outside, showered, ate breakfast and headed to work. It was weird to think that walking a few avenues and riding the subway each morning and afternoon is going to be my routine for who know how long. I kinda like it. I came into work way more awake than usual. Probably because the walking got the blood circulating to my brain.
As I sit here at my temporary desk in One Bryant Park, I finally have time to reflect on this past weekend and put everything into perspective.
I have yet to feel overwhelmed, which I did not expect. I love that I am so close to Carl Shurz Park, because I love it and so does my lovely pup, Teddy. I love having everything so close to my place. No matter what emergency I have, everything I could need is within a two block range.
I am getting used to the walking, it can only benefit me but for the time being my feet are killing me.
I miss my friends, but I know I will soon make new ones.
Overall, I love this place.
Chapa
PS - There is a HUGE population of good looking non-married men. Holla!
Day 1:
4:15AM - My parents and I woke up to pack the truck up with everything they were taking back.
6:30AM - Off to drop off the rental car that I forgot to turn in the night before. Oops.
6:35AM - Off to the airport.
6:50AM - After finally figuring out what line I needed to stand in, I awaited to be helped to pay for Teddy to fly. My mom was kind enough to help me carry my bags and push them along the line. Somehow, I packed both of my bags perfectly and they were each a pound under 50. Didn't have to pay anything for baggage. Hell yes!
7:30AM - Headed towards the security check point. Said goodbye to my wonderful parents. And guess what? I didn't cry like I thought I would. I just put my mind off elsewhere.
8:30AM - Boarded the plane for take off. Stopped in San Antonio(Which is ridiculous because I just went ass-backwards in order to get to my destination but hey that’s the price for getting a deal for a cheap flight.), then Baltimore, then I finally arrived at LaGuardia.
4:15PM - I decided against a cab and got a private car, which ended up being way cheaper than I thought and I wasn't rushed at all. Except some jerk almost ran Teddy over in the process. Luckily the driver pushed him out of the way. Stupid jerk that couldn’t wait for me to get in the car. Ugh.
4:45PM - Arrival to the new apartment. Picked up the keys from the deli under my place. Then hauled my bags and Teddy up one flight of stairs, already loving the benefits of living on the second floor.
5:00PM - Walked to Carl Shurz Park to let Teddy play in the dog run. He absolutely loved it.
6:00PM - Headed to S's to get the air mattress. Then went to the pet store to get a few treats and a bowl for Tedster.
7:30PM - Went to Duane Reade to get essentials. Another $40 out of my pocket.
8:00PM - Got a quick dinner from the deli along with some yummy fruit.
Some time after that I took a shower and headed to bed.
Day 2:
9:30AM - Woke up and took Teddy to the dog park. There were a lot of small dogs so we could to socialize and meet some regulars. He loved it once again and you know what, I did too!
11AM - A arrived and we headed to IKEA via taxi and water taxi (free per IKEA). Shopped, shopped, and shopped.
4:30PM - Got some food and headed home.
7PM - The furniture arrived. Started to put it all together and finished with: two coffee tables, desk, and my new futon.
Day 3:
No need to break down the time. Woke up and took the Tedster to the park again. Saw a cute British dude, he has a Husky that kept playing with Teddy. Pretty entertaining. Headed back and made a pit stop at Duane Reade again to get cleaning supplies.
Went back to the apartment and decided to put together the large 25 cubbie shelf. Meanwhile listening to episodes of Greek. Two hours later I finished but couldn't lift it so I decided it was nap time. My nap was wonderful by the way.
I decided to clean my bathroom which was absolutely disgusting. I can't even put it into words. I just sucked it up and cleaned it. It still looks like it hasn't been cleaned. Ew.
After putting together the shelf and having very little room to moving in my apt, I thought, "F it, I'll start on the last piece. My chest of drawers." Pretty easy to put together. A arrived again and it took us a good 30 minutes to figure out how to lift the damn shelving unit. After that huge ordeal, we rearranged things multiple times to figure out the best fit for my new place. Beer ended the night and I finally relaxed.
I seriously could not have done any of this with out the help of A. She helped me at IKEA and she help me set up my place. I don't think she really understands how much she helped me. Thank you, A!
Day 4:
I woke up this morning to my entire body aching. Took Ted outside, showered, ate breakfast and headed to work. It was weird to think that walking a few avenues and riding the subway each morning and afternoon is going to be my routine for who know how long. I kinda like it. I came into work way more awake than usual. Probably because the walking got the blood circulating to my brain.
As I sit here at my temporary desk in One Bryant Park, I finally have time to reflect on this past weekend and put everything into perspective.
I have yet to feel overwhelmed, which I did not expect. I love that I am so close to Carl Shurz Park, because I love it and so does my lovely pup, Teddy. I love having everything so close to my place. No matter what emergency I have, everything I could need is within a two block range.
I am getting used to the walking, it can only benefit me but for the time being my feet are killing me.
I miss my friends, but I know I will soon make new ones.
Overall, I love this place.
Chapa
PS - There is a HUGE population of good looking non-married men. Holla!
2.09.2010
Chapter 29 - Emotional Chaos
I'm seriously an emotional wreck and I just now realized it. I've been working nonstop today and about ten minutes ago I almost broke down crying. What the hell? I didn't think moving 1700 miles away would be this intense.
In less than 96 hours I will be on a plane anxious as hell to get to my Manhattan destination.
I have so many emotions going through my head right now that I can barely form sentences.
More later, not sure when that will be though.
In less than 96 hours I will be on a plane anxious as hell to get to my Manhattan destination.
I have so many emotions going through my head right now that I can barely form sentences.
More later, not sure when that will be though.
2.04.2010
Chapter 28 - So Close Yet So Far Away
Time is crawling and my emotions are everywhere. In the single digits now: nine days left. Honestly, it still hasn't hit me. I've been doing all this planning for the past four to six months and I never allowed myself to fully grasp the reality of it actually happening. I, LC, am moving to NYC. I am going to be surrounded by endless amounts of things: skyscrapers, dirty streets, beautiful sites, expensive things, parks, taxis, subways, etc. I could go on forever.
The big question that I have to ask myself is: Am I ready? Am I ready for this huge leap to be completely 100% on my own. I've been supporting myself financially for the past year, but emotionally I've been able to lean on family and friends around Dallas. In New York, I'll have coworkers and that's it. When I first moved to Dallas it took a good four months to establish a base of friends. Of course I am not one who has a problem socializing, it's just knowing where to find the right crowd in a huge city. I guess the one good thing I have on my side is I'm definitely not quiet.
I'm tearing up just thinking about leaving here now, I haven't cried once about it until this very moment. I am going to miss this place. I love Texas but I know this experience is just the start of something great for me. It is going to be something I look back on and tell my children about. Let them know you can do anything you want as long as you put your heart into it.
I am going to miss the friends I have made this past year. They are truly amazing. I am the baby of the group, but they have never once treated me any less than the rest. They care about each other and are always there. Too bad I am leaving so soon. Luckily, technology has progressed and it is easy to keep in touch these days.
I am going to miss my Aggie Happiest hour friends. I looked forward to it every week and it ALWAYS made me feel 100% better. One thing I do look forward to is NYC Aggie HH. Bring it on. :)
Thankfully, I already know of four close friends that will keep in contact. S, T, O and J. We have constantly kept in contact since graduation and I know they will be there for support. I love you guys.
I can already tell I am going to be an emotional wreck for the next week and a half. Get ready for puffy-faced LC to appear.
I'm ready for the adventure but apprehensive about the journey.
The big question that I have to ask myself is: Am I ready? Am I ready for this huge leap to be completely 100% on my own. I've been supporting myself financially for the past year, but emotionally I've been able to lean on family and friends around Dallas. In New York, I'll have coworkers and that's it. When I first moved to Dallas it took a good four months to establish a base of friends. Of course I am not one who has a problem socializing, it's just knowing where to find the right crowd in a huge city. I guess the one good thing I have on my side is I'm definitely not quiet.
I'm tearing up just thinking about leaving here now, I haven't cried once about it until this very moment. I am going to miss this place. I love Texas but I know this experience is just the start of something great for me. It is going to be something I look back on and tell my children about. Let them know you can do anything you want as long as you put your heart into it.
I am going to miss the friends I have made this past year. They are truly amazing. I am the baby of the group, but they have never once treated me any less than the rest. They care about each other and are always there. Too bad I am leaving so soon. Luckily, technology has progressed and it is easy to keep in touch these days.
I am going to miss my Aggie Happiest hour friends. I looked forward to it every week and it ALWAYS made me feel 100% better. One thing I do look forward to is NYC Aggie HH. Bring it on. :)
Thankfully, I already know of four close friends that will keep in contact. S, T, O and J. We have constantly kept in contact since graduation and I know they will be there for support. I love you guys.
I can already tell I am going to be an emotional wreck for the next week and a half. Get ready for puffy-faced LC to appear.
I'm ready for the adventure but apprehensive about the journey.
2.02.2010
Chapter 27 – The Countdown Has Officially Begun
The past week has been awesome. I sold my car, sold my furniture, found out I am getting an awesome tax return and had great times with friends.
J came into town on Friday evening to go with me to Billy Bob’s. He arrived shortly before eight and went with me to hand over my car to the person who bought it. We ate Outback and then headed to BB to see Reckless Kelly perform. I was in the mood for dancing but I hadn’t danced in so long; I was completely out of shape for it! RK wasn’t really into their performance either, which isn’t normal. To top off the night, I was getting tired before it was even midnight. Having to wake up early for work does that to me. With the few mishaps, I still had a great time. I’m glad he got to come into town before I left. In one month we will be in NYC watching Texas Country artists perform! Pat Green, Reckless Kelly, The Eli Young Band and Roger Creager will be at a venue in the city and J is flying in to go with me!
Saturday, J2 came into town to pick up all the furniture he bought from me. Somehow he and his brother fit my entire set of oversized furniture and TV stand into his mom’s minivan. I was absolutely shocked. After arranging the jigsaw puzzle; we headed to Twin Peaks for lunch. I figured the two of them would enjoy it and of course they did. They departed shortly after and I decided to go get pampered with a mani and pedi .It was wonderful.
That night I went to Oaklawn with my friend Tommy (since he is having surgery and can’t attend my peace out party) and a bunch of girlfriends. The gayboorhood was so much fun! Although there were a few creepers that kept dancing with us, we still had a blast. I haven’t felt that carefree in who knows how long. It was nice not to care if I was looking attractive or if my clothes were still were they were supposed to be. Simply amazing.
Sunday, I woke up and went to lunch with my aunt, uncle and niece. It was nice once we finally got to eat. I then came home and vacummed my carpet with their Dyson. It was so disgusting to see what came out of my carpet. Ew.
Yesterday was work, very slow as it is today. But on the plus side, Suz is waiting for me at my apartment. Yes!
I can’t wait for this weekend!
In four days, I will be surrounded by my amazing friends for my last hoorah in Texas before departing to NYC. I decided on karaoke. How could that not be fun? I reserved a private room at this Korean place called Norazo. It’s going to be fantastic. My closest friends and I will be in one room, enjoying adult beverages, and singing at the top of our lungs. Yes, it’s going to be absolutely fantastic.
In eleven days, I will be sitting on a flight destined for the Big Apple. My plan is to arrive in the late afternoon and go and get the essentials: groceries and dog food. I’ll be sleeping on the floor the first night and wouldn’t have it any other way. I like to think as though I am building a bond with my new shack of an apartment.
In Twelve days, Allison and I will be making our way across the Brooklyn Bridge for our Valentine’s IKEA date. I’m very excited because I can actually afford everything I want and not have to go into any debt. The only thing I am not looking forward to is paying for delivery. Boo, but I guess it is a requirement for buying furniture in the city.
I'll leave you with a few pictures I took this past weekend. ©LKC
J came into town on Friday evening to go with me to Billy Bob’s. He arrived shortly before eight and went with me to hand over my car to the person who bought it. We ate Outback and then headed to BB to see Reckless Kelly perform. I was in the mood for dancing but I hadn’t danced in so long; I was completely out of shape for it! RK wasn’t really into their performance either, which isn’t normal. To top off the night, I was getting tired before it was even midnight. Having to wake up early for work does that to me. With the few mishaps, I still had a great time. I’m glad he got to come into town before I left. In one month we will be in NYC watching Texas Country artists perform! Pat Green, Reckless Kelly, The Eli Young Band and Roger Creager will be at a venue in the city and J is flying in to go with me!
Saturday, J2 came into town to pick up all the furniture he bought from me. Somehow he and his brother fit my entire set of oversized furniture and TV stand into his mom’s minivan. I was absolutely shocked. After arranging the jigsaw puzzle; we headed to Twin Peaks for lunch. I figured the two of them would enjoy it and of course they did. They departed shortly after and I decided to go get pampered with a mani and pedi .It was wonderful.
That night I went to Oaklawn with my friend Tommy (since he is having surgery and can’t attend my peace out party) and a bunch of girlfriends. The gayboorhood was so much fun! Although there were a few creepers that kept dancing with us, we still had a blast. I haven’t felt that carefree in who knows how long. It was nice not to care if I was looking attractive or if my clothes were still were they were supposed to be. Simply amazing.
Sunday, I woke up and went to lunch with my aunt, uncle and niece. It was nice once we finally got to eat. I then came home and vacummed my carpet with their Dyson. It was so disgusting to see what came out of my carpet. Ew.
Yesterday was work, very slow as it is today. But on the plus side, Suz is waiting for me at my apartment. Yes!
I can’t wait for this weekend!
In four days, I will be surrounded by my amazing friends for my last hoorah in Texas before departing to NYC. I decided on karaoke. How could that not be fun? I reserved a private room at this Korean place called Norazo. It’s going to be fantastic. My closest friends and I will be in one room, enjoying adult beverages, and singing at the top of our lungs. Yes, it’s going to be absolutely fantastic.
In eleven days, I will be sitting on a flight destined for the Big Apple. My plan is to arrive in the late afternoon and go and get the essentials: groceries and dog food. I’ll be sleeping on the floor the first night and wouldn’t have it any other way. I like to think as though I am building a bond with my new shack of an apartment.
In Twelve days, Allison and I will be making our way across the Brooklyn Bridge for our Valentine’s IKEA date. I’m very excited because I can actually afford everything I want and not have to go into any debt. The only thing I am not looking forward to is paying for delivery. Boo, but I guess it is a requirement for buying furniture in the city.
I'll leave you with a few pictures I took this past weekend. ©LKC
1.26.2010
Chapter 26 – A Brand New Day
I woke up this morning feeling ten times better than I did yesterday. Thank goodness. I don’t think I could take two days of crappiness in a row.
Today I am excited about everything, most of which deals with moving. The big move is a little less than three weeks. Wow.
I just balanced my checkbook and redid my budget for the next two months. Not too shabby.
I want to figure out how I am going to decorate my apartment, but I have no idea of the actual dimensions. I keep coming up with ideas, but have yet to know if it will work out.
Going to get my car cleaned and detailed after work, another $100 bucks out of my pocket so I can sell my car.
I really need to wash clothes and clean my apartment. Now the test, will it actually happen tonight? There is a fifty-fifty chance.
Tomorrow is happy hour, the best weekday activity ever invented.
Kiss. Kiss.
Today I am excited about everything, most of which deals with moving. The big move is a little less than three weeks. Wow.
I just balanced my checkbook and redid my budget for the next two months. Not too shabby.
I want to figure out how I am going to decorate my apartment, but I have no idea of the actual dimensions. I keep coming up with ideas, but have yet to know if it will work out.
Going to get my car cleaned and detailed after work, another $100 bucks out of my pocket so I can sell my car.
I really need to wash clothes and clean my apartment. Now the test, will it actually happen tonight? There is a fifty-fifty chance.
Tomorrow is happy hour, the best weekday activity ever invented.
Kiss. Kiss.
1.25.2010
Chapter 25 – Something You May Not Know
I’m a pretty open book when it comes to telling people about me. However, after having a conversation with a close friend it occurred to me that most of my friends and colleagues have no idea what I struggle with on a daily basis.
Depression.
I’ve dealt with depression for as long as I can remember. I was diagnosed with it my senior year of high school but had encounters with it way before then. Although, it should not have been surprising seeing as though a large chunk of my family deals with it and being bi-polar like it is a normal occurrence of everyday life.
I take a medicine daily, the highest dose one can take. If I take it religiously, I am fine and deal with ups and downs as any other person may. However, I’m not perfect. I miss it every now and then and sometimes even miss a couple days ie. this past weekend.
It is now Monday and I am in horribly funky mood, it’s unreal. I haven’t felt like this in a very long time and I do not like it at all. I don’t even know how to explain it. I love my life. I think it’s great. But today my brain is telling me differently. It is a horrible feeling. Not being able to be happy when you want to so badly. Tomorrow will be better. I’ll be back to normal by Wednesday. Sadly, this isn’t the first time this has happened.
Depression was a huge struggle in my relationship with Tim. Although he never held it against me and was always supportive, he blamed our breakup/s on it. I can honestly say that depression was never a factor in breaking up with him. It was the lack of trust plain and simple, one day I hope he understands that.
As far as friendships go, I don’t think it has ever been a factor in the ending of any. If I’m having a bad day I try to be honest with myself and the people around me, so they understand it’s not them.
That leads me to relationships with my family, especially with my mother. When I was younger I would always blame myself on how my mother treated me. With the help of a psychologist, I slowly realized it wasn’t my fault and I now understand that she was dealing with her depression while trying to be my mom at the same time. Not a simple task. My father has always been supportive of everything in my life and I talk to him about everything. However, I don’t think we have ever discussed my situation without others being involved in the conversation. He himself admits it’s something he has never been able to understand. How is it someone I confide in all the time has no idea how to deal with something so huge in my life? It baffles me.
I wish more people could understand but I realize most people can’t unless they have dealt with it. Which, I hope no one ever has to. But if they do, then they can always come to me.
On a lighter note:
I move to the big city in a little less than three weeks. It is beyond crazy. Once I sell my car, I am completely ready. Texas, I’ll miss you.
My next blog will be more uplifting! Or at least I hope it is. :)
Depression.
I’ve dealt with depression for as long as I can remember. I was diagnosed with it my senior year of high school but had encounters with it way before then. Although, it should not have been surprising seeing as though a large chunk of my family deals with it and being bi-polar like it is a normal occurrence of everyday life.
I take a medicine daily, the highest dose one can take. If I take it religiously, I am fine and deal with ups and downs as any other person may. However, I’m not perfect. I miss it every now and then and sometimes even miss a couple days ie. this past weekend.
It is now Monday and I am in horribly funky mood, it’s unreal. I haven’t felt like this in a very long time and I do not like it at all. I don’t even know how to explain it. I love my life. I think it’s great. But today my brain is telling me differently. It is a horrible feeling. Not being able to be happy when you want to so badly. Tomorrow will be better. I’ll be back to normal by Wednesday. Sadly, this isn’t the first time this has happened.
Depression was a huge struggle in my relationship with Tim. Although he never held it against me and was always supportive, he blamed our breakup/s on it. I can honestly say that depression was never a factor in breaking up with him. It was the lack of trust plain and simple, one day I hope he understands that.
As far as friendships go, I don’t think it has ever been a factor in the ending of any. If I’m having a bad day I try to be honest with myself and the people around me, so they understand it’s not them.
That leads me to relationships with my family, especially with my mother. When I was younger I would always blame myself on how my mother treated me. With the help of a psychologist, I slowly realized it wasn’t my fault and I now understand that she was dealing with her depression while trying to be my mom at the same time. Not a simple task. My father has always been supportive of everything in my life and I talk to him about everything. However, I don’t think we have ever discussed my situation without others being involved in the conversation. He himself admits it’s something he has never been able to understand. How is it someone I confide in all the time has no idea how to deal with something so huge in my life? It baffles me.
I wish more people could understand but I realize most people can’t unless they have dealt with it. Which, I hope no one ever has to. But if they do, then they can always come to me.
On a lighter note:
I move to the big city in a little less than three weeks. It is beyond crazy. Once I sell my car, I am completely ready. Texas, I’ll miss you.
My next blog will be more uplifting! Or at least I hope it is. :)
1.20.2010
Chapter 24 - On Top of the World
I can’t express how excited I am for my move in three weeks. My trip to the city this past weekend went great. I found an apartment, got approved and signed my lease! It’s a block from Charles Schurz Park, which is supposed to be awesome and has a dog run for Teddy. Plus, my new place is only a few block from the Subway. Of course it is tiny, but to me, it’s perfect. It’s on the second floor, a full wall of exposed brick, a full kitchen, and has wooden floor.
Although my cost of living has just doubled, it is totally going to be worth it. Me, LKC, living in NYC. Un-freaking-believable.
I’m truly blessed with what God has provided me throughout my life. I certainly wouldn’t be where I am today without the support system of my family and friends.
Three weeks left in Dallas. I need to soak up all the time with my friends as possible. I have a feeling with Suz comes up here for my party (which symbolizes me and her both leaving for big cities), I'm going to have a very very intense cry. I will start preparing now.
Although my cost of living has just doubled, it is totally going to be worth it. Me, LKC, living in NYC. Un-freaking-believable.
I’m truly blessed with what God has provided me throughout my life. I certainly wouldn’t be where I am today without the support system of my family and friends.
Three weeks left in Dallas. I need to soak up all the time with my friends as possible. I have a feeling with Suz comes up here for my party (which symbolizes me and her both leaving for big cities), I'm going to have a very very intense cry. I will start preparing now.
1.14.2010
Chapter 23 - Flying to the City
I'm headed out early Saturday morning to NYC. Off to find a place to live for the first year in the city. I'm nervous I won't find a place and the thing is, I kind of have to. It is so more complicated to get into an apartment there. You have to have; last two tax returns, last two bank statements, proof of employment, last two pay stubs, and a billion dollars for a deposit. It's ridiculous. That is the worst thing about this move, everything else is great. Well, thus far. I figured I would love the first month, hate the second, and finally get acquainted thereafter.
I still can't believe I am really doing it. Only taking two bags, Teddy and Winston. What in the world am I thinking? Only time will tell of the events that are to come.
I still can't believe I am really doing it. Only taking two bags, Teddy and Winston. What in the world am I thinking? Only time will tell of the events that are to come.
1.05.2010
Chapter 22 - Big City Girl
Yup that's right. In less than a month and a half, I will be moving to New York City. Can you believe that? Me, small town-country girl is moving to the big city. I am extremely excited and can't wait to see what the future has in store for me! I've given away most of my stuff and just a have big items to sell and I am ready. I am going to be dirt poor for a bit until I can build my savings back up, but it is totally worth it.
Things have been pretty great the past few months. I took at two and a half week vacation at the end of last year. Luckily all my major projects finished before I left so I had very little to worry about. I went to see both sets of grandparents with my parents over the break and it was so bittersweet. It was the last time I was going to see my family for awhile.
I've been digging deeper into photography and I seriously considering pursuing it professionally, I just have to continue to save some money to buy better lenses and maybe one day a badass camera. I'll leave you with some recent pictures.
My cousin Sadie. I took a couple of months back:
One of my most recent sessions was of Amber posing for her bridal portrait:
And of course my all time favorite so far:
Things have been pretty great the past few months. I took at two and a half week vacation at the end of last year. Luckily all my major projects finished before I left so I had very little to worry about. I went to see both sets of grandparents with my parents over the break and it was so bittersweet. It was the last time I was going to see my family for awhile.
I've been digging deeper into photography and I seriously considering pursuing it professionally, I just have to continue to save some money to buy better lenses and maybe one day a badass camera. I'll leave you with some recent pictures.
My cousin Sadie. I took a couple of months back:
One of my most recent sessions was of Amber posing for her bridal portrait:
And of course my all time favorite so far:
11.23.2009
Chapter 21 - Empire State of Mind
It's official, I am moving to the Big Apple. I am extremely excited and can't wait for the new adventure to begin. Everyone is so supportive and that means the world to me. I can't stand when there are people that keep putting my future down, what's the deal? Jealousy. Yes.
I can't wait to see Suz on Wednesday, I haven't seen her in forever and we are going to meet up at our favorite restaurant of all time and have a few drinks.
I finally am back in Texas with Winston and Teddy and oh so happy!
Life is good.
I can't wait to see Suz on Wednesday, I haven't seen her in forever and we are going to meet up at our favorite restaurant of all time and have a few drinks.
I finally am back in Texas with Winston and Teddy and oh so happy!
Life is good.
10.12.2009
Chapter 20 - Haven't Met You Yet
Once again one of Michael Buble's songs speaks directly to my heart. It puts me in an awesome mood every time I hear it.
I am getting horrible about updating this thing. Life has been crazy busy, especially with work. I've worked so much over time this past month but I finally got to enjoy a three day weekend these past few days.
Went to Phoenix twice in September for a fast track project. Got to see amazing views of nature, but it was still for work. I'll be heading to Cali at the end of the month and then NYC in November. When I go to NYC, I'll get to the chance to meet the team I could be potentially working for on my next rotation and figure out if I am really up or moving to the big apple. I'm slightly excited!
Life in Dallas is pretty good. I haven't been in the best of moods lately. I really need to work out, it makes me feel so much better about myself when I do.
I am getting baby fever again. Ahhh! This is not fun. Especially when I am totally not ready to have a child, let alone a husband to have one with. I figured if I write about it, it will subside. Teddy and Winston will have to do for now. :)
Later Gators.
I am getting horrible about updating this thing. Life has been crazy busy, especially with work. I've worked so much over time this past month but I finally got to enjoy a three day weekend these past few days.
Went to Phoenix twice in September for a fast track project. Got to see amazing views of nature, but it was still for work. I'll be heading to Cali at the end of the month and then NYC in November. When I go to NYC, I'll get to the chance to meet the team I could be potentially working for on my next rotation and figure out if I am really up or moving to the big apple. I'm slightly excited!
Life in Dallas is pretty good. I haven't been in the best of moods lately. I really need to work out, it makes me feel so much better about myself when I do.
I am getting baby fever again. Ahhh! This is not fun. Especially when I am totally not ready to have a child, let alone a husband to have one with. I figured if I write about it, it will subside. Teddy and Winston will have to do for now. :)
Later Gators.
8.25.2009
Chapter 19 - Disappointed, Disgusted and Confused
I don't know if I should cry or be extremely pissed off right now. It has been almost two month since I last talked to one of my good friends. I've called a few times with no response. I finally broke down and wrote her an email but still no response. I'm not sure what went wrong and I have no idea why this has happened. Okay maybe I have a slight idea because it always happens when she gets in serious relationships, but seriously? I thought we were beyond that phase. There is the part of me that wants to be angry and livid, but there is the other part of me that makes me want to curl up in a ball in cry. I never would have thought a few months ago that this would be our relationship now. It just plain ol' sucks. I'm not good at maintaining friendships for a variety of reasons, but I thought just maybe this one would last. Evidently I was wrong. Damn. Another one bites the dust.
Work is going great. Things have finally begun to pick up and I am constantly busy from 7:30-4:30. I am still struggling with gaining confidence as a project manager but hopefully that will come with more experience. I didn't get a yes about NYC, but I didn't get a no. I am taking it in my own hands and making it happen myself. I would say the possibility is now around 75% of moving to NYC. I also got a new manager because my old one had way too much on his plate and couldn't dedicate enough time to his reports. But it is a win-win for everyone and I'm excited to work with my new manager who I have heard great things about.
Teddy is doing great. He is always chipper and ready to play. Winston is starting to be a pissy pot, MUCH more than before. Let the sibling rivalry continue on!
Dallas is good, I just wish I could manage the time to maintain good friendships here. I go out every Wednesday to happy hour, but thats about the only time I am devoting to building relationships. I need to work on that.
I bought a new camera and once again have fell in love. Everyone is telling me to quit my job and pursue photography, but if only everyone knew how easy it is to get into that now and would probably not work out. BUT I am strongly considering taking it up as a professional hobby and then just MAYBE I can pursue it as a profession.
Men, are simply non-existent. Mostly because I don't have time for them and when someone does show interest I just don't give them the time of day. What is wrong with me? I bitch and complain about not having someone but then I do that crap to myself. Oh the vicious Chapa cycle.
Hmmmmm, thats all I got on the noggin at this point. Later.
Work is going great. Things have finally begun to pick up and I am constantly busy from 7:30-4:30. I am still struggling with gaining confidence as a project manager but hopefully that will come with more experience. I didn't get a yes about NYC, but I didn't get a no. I am taking it in my own hands and making it happen myself. I would say the possibility is now around 75% of moving to NYC. I also got a new manager because my old one had way too much on his plate and couldn't dedicate enough time to his reports. But it is a win-win for everyone and I'm excited to work with my new manager who I have heard great things about.
Teddy is doing great. He is always chipper and ready to play. Winston is starting to be a pissy pot, MUCH more than before. Let the sibling rivalry continue on!
Dallas is good, I just wish I could manage the time to maintain good friendships here. I go out every Wednesday to happy hour, but thats about the only time I am devoting to building relationships. I need to work on that.
I bought a new camera and once again have fell in love. Everyone is telling me to quit my job and pursue photography, but if only everyone knew how easy it is to get into that now and would probably not work out. BUT I am strongly considering taking it up as a professional hobby and then just MAYBE I can pursue it as a profession.
Men, are simply non-existent. Mostly because I don't have time for them and when someone does show interest I just don't give them the time of day. What is wrong with me? I bitch and complain about not having someone but then I do that crap to myself. Oh the vicious Chapa cycle.
Hmmmmm, thats all I got on the noggin at this point. Later.
7.16.2009
Chapter 18 - These Days
Life seems to be going by at a pretty normal pace. Nothing too exciting happening in the near future, besides a river trip. I've have been thinking about my future lately. I'm just going to lay it out.
1. I am going to take the GMAT
2. Further my education and get a MBA
3. Move to New York City or Charlotte
4. Be happy with myself
5. Be proud of what I've accomplished
Five things on my to do list with in the next two years. And the last two are probably the scariest. There is a lot of reasoning behind each of them but I'm most sure more people are wondering why the hell I want to leave Texas or get my MBA so young. Honestly why the hell not? I'm young and moving out of Texas would definitely make me more marketable in the long run for my career and an MBA would just add to that. I know there is only so much you can plan, but I'm determined. If I've learned anything from the past year, it is that you are in charge of your future and every action that leads to that, is completely in your hands.
I'm going to be honest, I haven't been completely happy lately. I think my depression now comes in three month cycles. Who knows. I've started to realize that I suck at maintaining friendships. A big part might because I judge women so much harder than I do men. I hate that people are so unreliable, that people won't tell you the full truth, keep things from you so they won't hurt your feelings, and just being plain shitty. Come on people.
I'm not enjoying single life anymore. I need someone. Someone to hold me. To kiss me. To look into my eyes. To need me. I started dating again, I'm open to to it. Either my expectations are way too high, or I am just having shitty luck. Or I should just stop expecting to find anyone in the next few years. Maybe I really should just focus on me. Me, me, me.
Work is slow but will soon be picking up. I'm sure once things get busy again, I will feel as though I am contributing more and it will result in confidence. Weird how doing good at work makes me more confident.
In the mean time I will stick to thinking about selling all of my belongings, throwing my clothes in a bag, jump on a plane with Teddy and Winston, and go live in NYC.
In the mean time I will focus on loosing weight.
In the mean time I will try and be happy.
In the mean time I will try and forget about men.
In the mean time I will enjoy Texas.
In the mean time I will remind myself how luck I am to be where I am.
In the mean time I will get back to work.......
1. I am going to take the GMAT
2. Further my education and get a MBA
3. Move to New York City or Charlotte
4. Be happy with myself
5. Be proud of what I've accomplished
Five things on my to do list with in the next two years. And the last two are probably the scariest. There is a lot of reasoning behind each of them but I'm most sure more people are wondering why the hell I want to leave Texas or get my MBA so young. Honestly why the hell not? I'm young and moving out of Texas would definitely make me more marketable in the long run for my career and an MBA would just add to that. I know there is only so much you can plan, but I'm determined. If I've learned anything from the past year, it is that you are in charge of your future and every action that leads to that, is completely in your hands.
I'm going to be honest, I haven't been completely happy lately. I think my depression now comes in three month cycles. Who knows. I've started to realize that I suck at maintaining friendships. A big part might because I judge women so much harder than I do men. I hate that people are so unreliable, that people won't tell you the full truth, keep things from you so they won't hurt your feelings, and just being plain shitty. Come on people.
I'm not enjoying single life anymore. I need someone. Someone to hold me. To kiss me. To look into my eyes. To need me. I started dating again, I'm open to to it. Either my expectations are way too high, or I am just having shitty luck. Or I should just stop expecting to find anyone in the next few years. Maybe I really should just focus on me. Me, me, me.
Work is slow but will soon be picking up. I'm sure once things get busy again, I will feel as though I am contributing more and it will result in confidence. Weird how doing good at work makes me more confident.
In the mean time I will stick to thinking about selling all of my belongings, throwing my clothes in a bag, jump on a plane with Teddy and Winston, and go live in NYC.
In the mean time I will focus on loosing weight.
In the mean time I will try and be happy.
In the mean time I will try and forget about men.
In the mean time I will enjoy Texas.
In the mean time I will remind myself how luck I am to be where I am.
In the mean time I will get back to work.......
6.11.2009
Chapter 17 - As the World Turns
This week has been crazy with both work and my personal life. Work started out very stressful on Monday and Tuesday and has slowly calmed down since then. Whew, but I am still happy with my job and couldn't ask for anything better.
I went on a date last night. It was great and he seems like a great guy but I'm just not sure if there was that 'instant' click. Before and after the date was more of the entertaining part if you were on the outside looking in. I went to happy hour before my date. I was feeling good since I was all dolled up for dinner. As I walk in I'm searching for the group and finally find them. Well guess who is sitting at the table, of all people who do I see? HIM, the guy I met a month ago and hadn't seen since. Then of course the other guys had to tease me about my date the entire time. I swear it is so weird how my life tends to work itself out.
As I was leaving to go to dinner the clouds decided to let the rain pour. I drive to restaurant and run from my car to the door to get inside, soaking. All I could do was laugh.
Oh I got a puppy last month! I haven't written since then so some time has passed. His name is Teddy and he is Toto from the Wizard of Oz. He is adorable, hyper, sweet, and has a great temperament. Winston love to tease him and Teddy loves to chase back. It's pretty entertaining if I say so myself.
Life is pretty great and Dallas is amazing!
I went on a date last night. It was great and he seems like a great guy but I'm just not sure if there was that 'instant' click. Before and after the date was more of the entertaining part if you were on the outside looking in. I went to happy hour before my date. I was feeling good since I was all dolled up for dinner. As I walk in I'm searching for the group and finally find them. Well guess who is sitting at the table, of all people who do I see? HIM, the guy I met a month ago and hadn't seen since. Then of course the other guys had to tease me about my date the entire time. I swear it is so weird how my life tends to work itself out.
As I was leaving to go to dinner the clouds decided to let the rain pour. I drive to restaurant and run from my car to the door to get inside, soaking. All I could do was laugh.
Oh I got a puppy last month! I haven't written since then so some time has passed. His name is Teddy and he is Toto from the Wizard of Oz. He is adorable, hyper, sweet, and has a great temperament. Winston love to tease him and Teddy loves to chase back. It's pretty entertaining if I say so myself.
Life is pretty great and Dallas is amazing!
5.14.2009
Chapter 16 - Growing Up
I've officially been in Dallas for three demanding, challenging, and amazing months. I would be lying if I said it's been easy. There are days where I feel utterly alone and then other days where I feel as though I am on top of the world. I thought being a teenager was emotional, damn was I wrong. Growing up and living on your own while the people you care about move on with their lives.
As always, I've been thinking, and thinking, and well you know how the rest of the story goes. I miss college but also am loving work. Mixed emotions call for a Dos Equis and that's exactly what I am going to get out of my fridge.
Mmmmmmmmm. Delicious.
As always, I've been thinking, and thinking, and well you know how the rest of the story goes. I miss college but also am loving work. Mixed emotions call for a Dos Equis and that's exactly what I am going to get out of my fridge.
Mmmmmmmmm. Delicious.
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